That Kind of Day

It's been that kind of day for me. Where everything feels off. TH (the husband) took munchkin 3 and 4 to school for me this morning because I've come down with some sort of cold. Still didn't matter. I'm exhausted! He even stayed up and went to pick them up from school (he works nights). When they got home all I heard from them was "mommy she hit me, or Mommy she took my toy". Uhg I just wanted to go curl up in a ball in a dark room and forget who I am.

Even with the drugs I take depression hits. There are days like today where I don't want to be me. I hate who I am, hate everything about myself. Doesn't help that I'm fluffy either. Having four kids helped, not to mention the yummy food i like.

And yes I know there are gonna be the people out there yelling at me to get off my fat ass and workout and diet. Been there done that. No matter how much I workout or how much I cut my calories it doesn't seem to matter. I don't go up......but I don't go down either. WTH how is that fair that I cut out everything I enjoy, work my tail off and still no weight comes off. Seriously tempted to talk to you my doctor about Lap band.

Munchkin 1 and 2 came home from school and right away dived into the Halloween candy. So jealous that they got their daddy's metabolism. They can eat anything and not gain an ounce. After I let them gorge themselves on sugar, I made them do their chores. I swear they think the world is coming to an end when all they have to do is clean a couple rooms and do their homework. One of these days I'm going to just not do a damn thing all day and they can come home to see what I actually do all day.

*sigh*

Still in the self hating mood though. I'd love to sit and cry about how much I hate myself but what good would it do. I got four munchkins that depend on me.

Well off to try to get some dinner in the oven and feed the hungry forces in my house and then maybe I can hide under a rock for the rest of the night.

Momnesia

Drained

I'm having one of those days. You know THOSE days. Where everything is off and nothing goes right. I can't seem to get outta this flipping funk I'm in. It doesn't help that I'm constantly tired, I mean from the moment I get up till I go to bed I feel I haven't slept at all. So all in all I'm draggin' butt!

So of course my kids suffer from mommy being so sleepy. My oldest has to help with the youngest, and so forth. But then that makes me feel like a crappy mom, so I try to help and I can't concentrate when all my energy is directed at going to bed. Even when its 3 in the afternoon! What the frak am I going to do!.

Sigh

My life is a constant yawn.

Hopefully I will feel rested one of these days.